Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
