Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
