did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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