Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize