Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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