you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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