i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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