You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
