Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
