I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
