If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
