I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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