then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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