I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
