she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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