Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
