waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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