if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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