Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
