I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
