Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
