I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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