They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
