he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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