Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to jail i love you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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