I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
