Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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