Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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