So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize