We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
