So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
