I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
