How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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