Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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