im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's blow job season.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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