she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
