He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
