If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize