at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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