Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Randomize
