Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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