I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
