I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize