That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
