Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think my vagina is haunted
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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