My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
