She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
