you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
