doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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