u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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