You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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