I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
