well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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