I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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