He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
