if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
