i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your cock deserves a montage
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
