Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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