Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
