She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
