You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
