Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
