Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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