i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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