party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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