Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
