She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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