I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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