Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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