Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize