dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
