Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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