a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
