Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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