I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
