He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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