I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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