My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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