So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
