Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
