But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
